I’m happy to, finally, be sticking up for myself. Lately, I've found myself actively avoiding negative people, protecting myself from being a sponge
for their judgment and insecurity. I don’t think negative people are bad, rather
that they are in unhappy and unhealthy place in their lives. I’ve been there
too, of course. But now that I’m finally happy, I need to protect this sacred
space. I need to preserve it. I won’t let anyone’s negativity poison my
happiness any longer. I realize some people will dislike me for my happiness. I
understand that too. I hated happy people when I was unhappy. But I’ve finally
found that I’d rather be happy in isolation with my fellow joyful ones, than
to be able to relate to and befriend the unhappy.
I’m proud that I’m sticking up for myself in other ways,
too. It seems like a silly little thing (those small things are what add up to
big change, right?), but I was excited to recognize my reaction to opening a
tainted jar of mayonnaise yesterday. It was a perfect sunny summer day, the
kind on which I always crave potato salad because it is the food-symbol of
summer for me. So after I added up all
the ingredients I’d need to make potato salad and compared them to the
ingredients I had at homes in my head, I realized I was almost out of mayonnaise. I
went to Whole Foods on my way home and picked up a jar of Vegan Mayo, “Nayonnaise.”
When I got home, I used a pair of scissors to slit the plastic seal and
underneath the lid was a fuzzy dark blue clump of mold. Disgusting. In the
past, I would have thrown it out, or maybe just scraped off the mold and used
what was underneath. But this time I decided I’d demand a refund. This is not
something I’ve done before. I’ve never sent back food at a restaurant or
returned something for being beneath my standards for quality. Plus the mayo
was only, like, $3.50. But I decided I wouldn’t take it this time. Whole Foods
wasn’t going to rob me, damnit! They’d
taken enough of my money over the years for overpriced cheeses and hot bar
soups. I wouldn’t stand for it this time. So this morning I went back. I ran
through the pouring rain in the parking lot to the monstrous and majestic brick
building and asked for my money back. I received a refund of $3.48 on my
credit card. Along with that, I received my dignity.